I told them of my experiences where I was part of groups and longed to have input, but had none. There have been countless times in my life where if I could have contributed greatly to how a group functioned. I knew that not only would I personally benefit from my suggestions, but others like me would also. Especially given the consistent chaos our lives are lived in. We need both structure and flexibility. Yet, I was never invited to something like that.

Initially I met with these women thinking the first meeting would only last about fifteen minutes each. Was I wrong! To my surprise, each took a lot longer that I had expected. This, however, was an unexpected turn that was turned out to be GREAT. I can’t remember the last time that I just sat down and had such an honest and REAL conversation like that. Well, at least not during a time where I felt freedom to talk without feeling forced to spill my guts, or where I was being evaluated for some kind of resource and much needed assistance from it. No, this kind of conversation was sincere and beautiful.

Funny thing is that I felt like I was just able to talk with them. As if I had known them my entire life. I keep forgetting that I am just like them where I have a hard time trusting other women. However, there were no awkward moments, no uncomfortable silences, no fear. Just much needed expressions of pain where judgment was absent. Absent, at least for that moment. I hope we can create this in our groups with all the women. As we exchanged a just a few samples of our life stories with one another, my mind keep racing. I noticed the unfortunate, yet honest connection within our struggles of pain and loss. From insecurities to anger, to fear and abandonment, and many more, all I could think to myself was "WOW!" I am going to be a part of something special.

Then, as I sit here now I think about the mystery. The confusion of both how and why God put all these chaotic issues in my life. Some would say He didn’t put them there, but rather He allowed them to be there. Right now, I think I need to live in the tension of put, because women like us see it that way. I am amazed that without all the pain in my life I may have never truly felt able to connect in the pain of these women. Without my wounds, I might only offer them a distant invitation to healing, not a shared one. I enjoyed meeting these women who are imperfect, hurt, struggling, catty, insecure, loving, resourceful, surviving, challenged, intelligent, strong, and most of all, beautifully real. Women just like me.